Say Something Funny!

[Jean Riva]

I'm bored. Say something funny. Make me laugh and win a prize. What? I'd give you a cookie but on the internet not everyone likes getting cookies. I'd give you a hug but virtual hugs suck next to the real thing. So---oh, hell---just make me laugh for the sake of doing a friend a favor. Tell me a joke and I'll start by telling you one from my world....

This guy was in a bar and decided he'd better go home. He fell off the stool, crawled up into a standing position only to fall again. Damn, he thought, I've had more than I thought. So he crawled to the doorway and used it to pull himself into a standing position again only to fall again. "Damn it!" he said, and decided since he only lived a few doors down that he'd better just crawl there and not chance getting hurt.

He made it to the front door, had a hard time reaching up to ring the bell but he accomplished it. When his wife answered he said, "Honey I was down to bar and I think I've had too much to drink."

"I know it, you damn fool." she replied. "Charles called. You left your wheelchair at the bar."

[jcorn]

Jean -
I could do them. I have pulled off pranks. My husband was NOT amused the time I put a rubber band around the sprayer in our sink, that separate spray attachment that you can use to help get gunk off pans? If you put a rubber band around some of them, it sprays the person who turns on the water immediately. My son and I were on the floor laughing. What can I say? I'm repenting here, okay? And I do help old ladies cross the street (if they ask) and donate to charity too.

[Jean Riva]

Randy, Kill the cat people? Can't we just kill the cats? (Just kidding cat people. I would have one if I wasn't allergic to them.)

Jane, I'll check out the link, but I'm not a prank person. I could never pull them off as I'd laugh so much I'd give myself away.

[jcorn]

http://digg.com/comedy/Pranks_to_pull_on_your_Co_workers

Yes, sophomoric. But I'm still trying some of these!

[theBarefoot]

Funny people love dogs. Dogs love them. Cat people aren't funny. Kill the cat people!

[Jean Riva]

By the way, what's with all the animal avatars here? I thought I was on the Dogs With Blogs website when I first logged in. LOL

[Jean Riva]

That made me laugh. Thank you.

[theBarefoot]

Four blond chicks walk into a bar, hooping and hollering, "12 months! 12 months!" and order a round of drinks. The bartender serves the drinks and asks, "What 12 month anniversary are you celebrating?"

The smart one in the bunch speaks up and says, "The puzzle box said '7 to 9 years' but we did it in 12 months."

True story. I happened to be in the bar at the time and ended up boinking the dumb one.

[theBarefoot]

A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey. We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "Okay. I have an Irving."