Telegraphing the Joke

[theBarefoot]

When writing an article online, you are often requested or required to provide an abstract. This is where many articles just die. So often, I see abstracts like, "A humorous look at..." or "This is a funny thing that..."

I have to say, if you have to tell me it's funny, it is not. Telegraphing the fact that it is humor detracts from the humorous impact of the article.

Am I the only one who finds this type of telegraphing a killer?

[Jean Riva]

Oh, my God, I haven't even been a member for twenty-four hours and already I'm learning that some of my abstracts are committing the telegraphing crime. I am SO out of my comfort zone here and with discussions on comedic theory. Teach me, oh masters.

[jcorn]

Jean -
I feel the same. I hope the masters will be kind.

[Shana]

There is a solution to that problem Randy and since I am a retarded Amishman I can't send you the link, but if you search Oops I Crapped my pants you can find a video on the solution to your pissing yourself regularly problem, and we won't tell nor can anyone tell, which you can tell by the video.!

[theBarefoot]

Classic SNL.

[jcorn]

If the title is funny enough, I don't think an abstract is necessary. Although it wasn't the funniest story ever, I entitle one story (humorous) Murder in the Crawl Space: A Family Memoir (or something like that) It got some attention and a feature at a non-paying site. Well, they pay but only in gift certificates.
Some titles just make people laugh and could almost be an abstract.

[Shana]

That is funny, and it sounds a lot like my real family which may not be too funny.

[jcorn]

Shana - It was a (mostly) true story about a repairman who did not listen when I told him to watch out for raccoons in our crawl space. He put his hand on one that was sleeping in a corner of the crawl space. That move left me with the sudden problem of whether to rescue the idiot or not. The screams were ghastly and he wouldn't answer me when I asked if he was all right which left me in a fix. I had to find courage and I hadn't planned ahead to need any. I managed to dredge up some - but very slowly.

He and I got stuck in the crawl space entrance (a hole in the floor) as I as attempted to "rescue" him with 2 kitchen knives and a hammer in my hand. He was genuinely lucky I didn't accidentally murder him. Grabbing the knives and hammer was totally idiotic on my part but we don't keep firearms in the house (we have a teen).
People found it amusing. I had to take to bed for the rest of the day with half a bottle of wine before I was calmed down.If I'd had a whole bottle or even some scotch, my son might have found me in a stupor when he got off the school bus. As it was, he was still suspicious. I was unusually calm, eerily so (he said). Probably because I forgot to ask him whether he remembered his homework, my standard greeting. I just went back to bed and called it a day.

[Shana]

Where is this story? I would love to read it, I needed a good laugh, although it sounds horrific, it is hysterical.
I dont quite understand how you rescued him with a hammer and knives though, I am snickering now. I can picture him upside down in your kitchen floor. I hope you gave the poor idiot some wine too and the poor defensless raccoon would need some too. hee hee great story!

[jcorn]

I'm not seeing a link? It is here: http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474977099326 but a lot of times you'll get a message saying you have to be signed in to see it, that kind of stuff. They don't pay for submissions there.

If that doesn't work, just let me know. I kept the avatar because they asked for one when they featured it. Honest, I am telegraphing right now that I do NOT think it is that funny. It just struck some people as funny. It was 90% true so I don't consider it creative humor or anything. I always thought humor was supposed to be made up. And the dog DID fall off the roof, too, but not in that month. So I guess that part was creative license. Otherwise, it is pretty accurate.

Also, I did NOT rescue him. We got stuck. How we got out of that fix is beyond me. We were both yelling in terror. There was clearly an animal with large teeth beneath our feet. If you do happen to see it, read the comments. I found them educational about humor, anyway.

[Porter]

Your near homicide is rather hilarious so far!

[Porter]

I will definately read the raccoon story.

This reminded me of my horror story with coons. The short story is that five raccoons and one big opossum were pulled out from under this rental house I had, one without foundation to speak of I find.

They, the coons, not the possum (I don't think), were mating and it sounded like the Tasmanian Devil was about to bust through the kitchen floor. This went on for some nights and was prior to knowing exactly what was under the house as the traps weren't working so well even though a pro was hired. They were too busy getting busy I guess.

And, of course, they sprayed or whatever it's called, which being a late northern winter the heating ducts were going full force.

I'd love to write a humorous tale out of it but that house was cursed with a few plagues and I haven't gained a sense of humor about it yet. Well, maybe a little.

[Porter]

Oh and to put this in context. I was a city girl (mostly) prior to this.